your evening routine is ruining your life
I might very well be the queen of morning routines. I’ve tried every habit, every wakeup time & have probably watched every morning routine on YouTube. I’d do every healthy habit before 8am to make the rest of the day focused on working towards my goals. Then 6pm would come. Feeling too tired to do any more work, I’d spend the evenings binge-watching TV dramas (or worse, scrolling!). Then I’d hit the sheets feeling flat, even though I accomplished so much in the morning & afternoon.
When I’d scroll on social media in the evening, my mental health suffered. Although I felt exhausted, I’d struggle falling asleep. As a former chronic overthinker, I’d then have absolutely no control over my thoughts & spiral when I’m supposed to be resting for the next day of crushing my goals. The only way I could fall asleep without the thoughts coming out to torment me is to have Bob’s Burgers or another feel good show on while I slept.
Fast forward to morning. My alarm goes off at 5am & I’m exhausted. I’m somehow more tired than when I went to bed the night before. It became a never ending cycle of overcaffeinated productivity or I’d snooze my alarm until 9am (even though I went to bed at 9pm!). By that point, I’d be frustrated, deem it a bad day & not show up as my highest self, doing only the bare minimum work, while neglecting my health & self care in the process.
I’d see women online recording their evening routines but what would I even add into mine? I already meditated, did a 20 minute yoga flow, worked out, hit my protein goal, drank 3L of water & worked 9h on my brand. What else was there?
Then one day I decided to film a Full Day in my Life for Youtube & I was screwed. What the heck is going to be interesting enough to film without people clicking off my video? I liked taking baths in the evenings, so I started with that. I set up my crystals, book, a cute drink & filmed myself filling up the tub. My book was so good, I kept reading. That night I felt so much less exhausted. I felt ready for sleep & fell asleep at 9pm without being first entertained by Tina, Gene & Louise. I transitioned from the background noise of a show into rain sounds.
Fast forward to today. I now make my evening routine just as sacred as my morning routines but rather than try to fill it with all the healthy & productive habits, I use it to listen to what my mind & body are telling me. I ask myself: What do I need this evening? Human connection? I’ll play a cozy game online with my friends. To process my emotions? A bath with no distractions, just a soft piano playlist or frequencies. Love? Time to cuddle up with my husband & a movie. Entertainment & fun after a long boring day? I’m going to catch up on the new season of Bridgerton or read a book I’m loving. Release pent up energy? I’ll take a walk in the forest or maybe play some tennis.
Life is full of monotonous tasks & habits to better your life. If you work a traditional job, your mornings are spent preparing for work, days spent at work, weekends spent doing maintenance tasks (like laundry, errands etc.) you don’t have time for because you have work. You need something for you. If you’re reading this you’re probably the type of person who prioritizes self improvement. That’s great, so am I! But you need time that’s for you. Time where the only priority is filling up your own cup.
These next paragraphs are my cheat codes to creating an optimized routine. To becoming my highest self & to creating the energy I need to keep my momentum all week. These sections will unlock the productivity you need to reach the next level, whatever that means for you. These are the tools I’ve used to create my evening routine planner, designed to bring your life more enjoyment & peace after a long day of existing (which is hard even on it’s own!). My planner is a simpler version of how I now structure my evenings: gratitude immersion, reflection & self care. I also added a schedule & space to keep notes for tomorrow.
Schedule
I included this because odds are you are a pretty organized person (or at least aspire to be) if you’re coming across my structured evening planner. This way you can plan the hobbies, habits & any plans you have on your schedule that night. Make sure not to use this as a way to hit another checklist. The schedule space isn’t a task list of things you NEED to do, it’s a list of activities that excite you. In order to be your highest self, you need to spend time nurturing your mind & soul. Evenings are for rest. Seven types of rest exist: physical, mental, sensory, creative, emotional, social, & spiritual rest. Ask yourself which area needs your attention today then schedule your time accordingly.
Gratitude Immersion
One of the first things I always add into my designs when creating a planner is a gratitude list. As humans, we’re wired to be unsatisfied. To want more. To always look forward to the next thing, even if you JUST hit a huge milestone. It’s the fastest way to never feel fulfilled or to think what you have & who you are isn’t enough. The very best way to avoid this is gratitude.
Even on the hardest days there are people & things you are so lucky to have. Reflect on what’s in your life & write down what you feel the most gratitude towards. My big ones are always the people in my life & their/my health so I often write specific details about this. My gratitude list for today included my dog & how healthy she is despite having a ligament tear she’s recovering from. I also include small things. The winter here in Canada was so snowy & grey, so you better believe that every time the sun peaks out, I’m showing her my gratitude. Coffee is also a little thing that often makes my gratitude list.
Now for the immersion part in gratitude immersion. This is what I do after I reflect on what I am grateful for. Focus on the feeling you get when you think about these things or people in your life. What does it feel like? Warm & fuzzy or safe? Where do you feel it in your body? Your chest? Throat? Stomach? Now sit in this feeling for as long as you’d like. I imagine the feeling spreading into my entire body. Give it a colour. White, gold, your favourite colour? Just sit in it to truly appreciate how lucky you are to have the things you do & to live this life of love.
Emotional Processing & Reflection
How did today go? What emotions are you feeling? Name them & explore why you feel this way. Base tonight’s self care activities around these. Low-energy emotions are feelings of sadness, grief, disappointment, loneliness, shame, or exhaustion. If you’re these are creeping into your heart today, go for rest, cozy drinks & meals, a bath or a walk with a friend. Anger, anxiety, frustration, overwhelm, restlessness or excitement are high energy emotions, so maybe some physical activity or time in nature is what you need.
It’s so important to feel your feelings. I’m possibly the biggest journaling advocate on the planet. Since writing about the emotions that arise each day, I’m so much better equipped at letting them pass. Without acknowledging that you feel sad when *insert situation here*, you won’t be able to let it pass.
This is also a really helpful tool to figure out the things that make your life better versus make it worse. If you feel negative every day because of your job, maybe you need to start looking for a new job. If a friend makes you feel insecure, stop being their friend. It is entirely our own responsibility to create the daily life that makes living enjoyable because otherwise, what is the point? Life is meant to be lived, it is not meant to settle for things that consistently feel bad.
Braindump
This is the part that I typically begin with. To me, it’s an essential part to shutting off for the night, otherwise the feeling I’m forgetting something tends to haunt me in the night. To clear your mind from all the responsibilities & tasks spinning around in your head, write it down. Write any ideas you don’t need for tonight, any important tasks or thoughts you don’t want to forget. Tomorrow’s version of you will deal with it. You can let it go now. The thoughts are safe & ready to be seen with fresh eyes at a different time. Now is the time to have a clear mind.
Self Care: Mind, Body & Reset
I’ve included a list of self care activities for easy inspiration incase your mind feels frazzled & you’re experiencing decision fatigue after a busy day. But of course, substitute these activities for any that bring you joy. I split these into 3 categories: activities to care for your mind, activities to care for your body & a reset. You experience so many external stimuli & stressors every day. Your brain is constantly processing information at a crazy rate. It deserves a rest. To properly wind down you need to let your mind rest, & unfortunately being on your phone is not restful for your mind. In fact, studies show that screen use increases mental stimulation, making it much more difficult to relax.
Your brain isn’t the only thing getting overworked all day. Your body is likely needing some love as well. The most common problem our bodies face in our day to day lives is working at your computer. Not only is this sedentary lifestyle causing muscle atrophy if you’re not prioritizing morning movement & getting steps in on your break but your posture is likely causing your back & neck to also suffer.
If you work an active job, your body likely needs rest. If you don’t, your body needs movement. That does not mean you have to workout. In fact, exercising too close to bedtime can make it harder to fall asleep, especially if the activity is intense. So, I’m suggesting slow restful movement like a walk in nature or a gentle yoga flow. If movement is not sounding good tonight, skip it. There are so many things that nourish your body: skincare, spa nights, bubble baths, tea. Choose one that feels good to you.
The third category is reset. I personally try to do this at the start of my evening because I am so influenced by my surroundings. This category not only means to reset your space, but also your life. Some activities in this category include: planning for your upcoming week, meal prepping, making your house cozy with music or a candle. It can really mean anything that sets tonight or tomorrow up for success.
Ideally you’d pick one activity from each category but if your mind feels extra busy this evening, you might benefit from 3 self care activities for your mind. Also, if you’re feeling up for it try something new!
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Sleep and recovery are just as important as all the healthy habits you fill your mornings with. Without proper rest, you’ll burn yourself out. Since incorporating an evening routine into my schedule, I’ve been waking up with more energy, spending more quality time with my husband & friends, sleeping more deeply, & most importantly, I’m feeling happier.
I hope you use the information above to build an evening that creates balance & leaves you feeling rested enough to keep reaching all the goals & dreams you set your mind to. If you want to make it extra easy & save your valuable time every single day, here is a guided version of my evening routine for you to customize ⬇
